Three is not a crowd for Que Brown, 28, Tye Brown, 26, and Martel Star, 27. The Tallahassee, FL and Mansfield, OH transplants are one of many Black gay polyamorous triads or “throuples” in Atlanta who are finding and creating healthy romantic partnerships outside of the traditional two-person monogamous relationship model. However, there is one distinction between their triad and others— these men are living and loving out loud, online and off, and are rejecting the stigma associated with polyamory that often pushes those within this relationship structure to the margins of society.
For Star, an entertainer and avid social media user, it was only natural that he’d be open about their relationship on Instagram since social media played such a pivotal role in connecting him to Que and Tye, who had already settled into their seven-year relationship as a couple after initially meeting in a Tallahassee nightclub. The pair were married in 2017. The Browns tell The Reckoning the discussion about adding a third partner happened early in their marriage.
“About two years in it was something that both of us had a conversation about, and we were both really open to the whole idea, and it was something that we talked about for a while before we ever acted on it,” said Tye Brown. “Once it started becoming something that we both knew we could comfortably do, that’s when we started to act on it. It was an interesting transition from the two of us to the third. It wasn’t hard, to be honest, and it’s not something you can do with everybody,” he said.
A relationship first for the Browns, the men said they tried unsuccessfully to explore polyamory before relocating to Atlanta, but misconceptions and a general lack of knowledge around the dynamics of polyamorous relationships proved challenging.
“Que and I would always joke that when we leave Tallahassee we’re gonna find our third boyfriend. And literally, that’s what happened, “said Tye Brown. “People in Tallahassee, itself, we would tell them that we’re in an open relationship and they were like, ‘so you just wanna be out here being a hoe.’ That’s not what this is about. A lot of people automatically assume that it’s a sexual thing and you try to explain that it’s more than that, and they’re like, ‘I don’t get it,” he said.
Well, Star, who had been in a polyamorous relationship, got it.
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